Shobha Nargundkar

Why should it matter what someone thinks about me or my work? Why do they compare? Why do I feel 'less than' whenever I compare myself with anyone? When did I decide that everyone else is better at whatever I do or whatever I am? And I have been trying to get the better of everyone else and failing miserably. Its my core belief about myself - that I'm not good enough, no matter what I do and everyone else is better. Today I noticed it again. When people are praising me in isolation, I feel good. When I'm compared, I feel totally down. I forget all the praise and all the good things i do and am capable of doing and all the focus is on why I am not like the other person. But I forget that I am me and I have a choice whether I want to be like that. I can listen to the feedback and decide whether I can make a positive change in myself or accept it as their opinion and let it go. We all cant be alike. I have to live my truth. Not copy someone else. I have to accept who I am...

"What does your job involve? What kind of stuff will you be selling? I'm sure you'll do well if you want to. I tried some selling here myself and I wasn't too bad at it, but I simply hated the sales type of job. The only thing I can tell you(beware, here comes free unwanted advice!) is don't be afraid to try things and fail at them. I've done enough of that here last year, and I'm none the worse for it. Life goes on, its no big deal. Of course, I've had the advantage of not having 2000 relatives expecting me to succeed and nagging me all the time. So that made it easy for me to quit what I didn't like. Now I'm practically below poverty line, but I'm happy. All our lives we're trained to 'succeed', to get the 1st rank, etc. and pretty soon the fun goes out of work if there's too much pressure. Anyway, enough philosophy from me. You are smart enough to live your life your way." These are excerpts from a letter Satish(my br...

I liked 'The Immortals of Meluha'. It was like the Radical Forgiveness process unfolding...the victim story, the feelings due to the assumptions and judgments, leading to more distance and finally war and questions at the end of the war...who was evil? they or us? was anyone evil at all? then what was the war about? Guilt! And the perfection of it all. The bigger picture! ...Peace! This is what we do on a daily basis- we want love..to receive and to give. Then judgments creep in, then the distance grows, then we fight and may stop talking. At the end of it, are we right? or happy? then why are we in this situation? Using Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness Tools, we can collapse the energy that holds this judgment in place and free our blocked energy for other more creative things than for holding on to destructive energies of anger, pain, hurt guilt etc.. At the end we see the perfection of whatever happens. This understanding always existed but now it is easy to apply to ...

I attended a workshop " Love Yourself and heal your life" in 2002 by Sailaja that changed the way I looked at myself and my life. The change was obviously not apparent for everyone to see immediately and it was also not what everyone would like to see. Because this change was within me and about loving myself and taking care of my feelings and my emotions. And the techniques were very simple to use and apply. Once you are aware of the changes you want to make and know what you want to create, its a question of focussing on what you want using affirmations, vizualisations etc... and slowly moving away from negative self talk to a positive empowering one. Even if you don't do anything else, only thinking " I love and accept myself exactly as I am" is a potent tool. Saying it when you least feel like it is the key. Since then, I have come a long way -learning new tools and techniques on the way, reading books, meditations, experiencing past-life regression, learni...

Recently when Aai left for America, I took it upon myself to clean up her place... why would I want to do that, when I could have just relaxed and enjoyed myself. Especially since it appears that she doesn't want anything cleaned up anyway.... I don't know, its almost a compulsive need in me to clean her house. I don't like the fact that she surrounds herself with lots and lots of stuff- from the smallest bit of paper that enters the house to the largest cupboards and shelves... and every bit is preserved. As you can imagine, over the years, the free space is reduced and trash is filled up in every nook and corner. So the 'bai' that comes in doesn't know where to start cleaning, so she doesn't. Result... all surfaces are filled with dust, webs and you name it... Since I visit from time to time, I suggest not without expectation that she should not collect any more stuff or provide storage space for junk in the hope that it might be needed some day, but I gue...

I was attacked by a virus or some bacteria that has caused me unbearable amount of pain and suffering in the last few days. Pain in the throat, ear and throbbing in the whole head...miserable feeling. How do I explain to myself why this happened to me ? Because I needed it for some reason. Some of the likely reasons were : I was overdoing outdoor activities - partying, movie watching, eating out and so on... knowing that i was overdoing it and unable to say 'no' for various reasons. I attended 2 workshops back to back of 'transgenerational healing' and didn't give myself enough time to assimilate and integrate change. Doing a lot of coaching without probably adequate protection of myself or the space... My mother was visiting, Hari was completely drowned in GHS, my maid was being most irritating and so on. Basically too much was happening all at once and it took its toll.. What does this tell me... ... to pay attention to the signs that my body is giving me... I co...